Website/blog/YouTube channel dedicated to all things dorky and awesome. Original drawings by me, unless credited otherwise.Stay awhile and listen…
Oh Deckard Cain, thanks for not stealing the millions of dollars of treasure I have littered at your feet.
Dorksplosion is…
Writing Up a Mental Pros And Cons List of Isabella v.s. Morrigan For Best Dragon Age Hook Up
Sigh. Here we go. If anything confirms that I did not live up to my parents’ expectations it’s drawing and then writing a blog post about which video game character I want to bone/fall in love with more. My grandfather fought in WWII. I’m 30.
Ok, but let’s put that bullshit aside for two seconds and get into this, huh? Alright in one corner, you’ve got Morrigan, sultry, beautiful, and selfishly cold beyond almost all reasoning. We’re talking about a lady that is less likely to fuck you after you turn down murdering child slaves for a modicum of extra power. It’s like someone created a sexy golem out of all the evilest parts of the Harry Potter books. It’s easy to forget, because of your constant flirting and day to day interaction with her that in another setting, she would be about a thousand times more twisted than Evil Lynn or any other fantasy villain. Also, she makes you get her pregnant with a fucking demon baby that she can raise to take over the world. What did Evil Lynn do? Steal all the rainbows from Happy Valley?
And in the other corner you have Isabella, who is, let’s face it, pretty easy to bang. This broad is slutty enough that you will actually stop paying attention to the game for a minute and wonder aloud if their are condoms and antibiotics in the Dragon Age universe. For reals. There has to be because this girl would have had like 20 shady ass kids by now and herp at the very least. Despite her being easy as playing Candy Land by yourself, she is actually a pretty good person who cares about you. She has no hidden secrets about stealing souls, murdering nations, or taking over the world by controlling gods. She kind of just wants to party and steal gold. Also, she is a pirate, which is fucking awesome.
I did feel like I was more wrapped up in my romance with Morrigan than Isabella, I can’t decide if that is because Morrigan made me work for that puss or that it was just one of the first video game romances I’d played through.
So it basically comes down to this question…
Demon Preggers or Pirate AIDS?
Video of The Day: Little Big Planet Live
This is dope as fuck. Also, I am pretty terrible at playing multiplayer Little Big Planet. I think I get too impatient. When I first got the game I sat down with my wife to play it and we were all like, “Oh shit! This is amazing look how beautiful all this bullshit is! I love you, honey.” and then the second we had to do something together like lower a drawbridge we were like “WTF is a matter with you, you fucking retard! Jump on that lever! For FUCK’S SAKE, honey, jump on that god damn lever! We’ve been stuck here for thirty minutes!….I still love you.”
I love the Mother series. I’m currently playing Mother 3. I had stopped for a year or so because the game is pretty sad. It’s a sweet kind of sad, though which is always good. This track from Mother (EarthBound Zero) is so amazing to me. It kind of gets me choked up. The music in all these games is really kind of sublimely perfect.
Did any of you play this series? If so which was your favorite and why?
Video of The Day: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Teaser
Jesus fucking Christ. I get chills every time I watch this bullshit. I feel like I will for real shit myself in excitement. This is going to be badass as all fuck. Holy fuck. Fantasy vikings, snow, and the return of dragons?! Humminahumminahummina *neeeeerddddddd sploooooooge*
Video of the Day: Gamedians, T&C Surf Designs
A while back my buddies Dan Bialek, Dan Telfer and I made some videos where we nerd ranted about different games. This is one of those games, a classic NES surfing/skateboarding game. I’m posting this because I had a dream last night that I found a secret level on T&C Surf Designs. Yup, no dreams of wealth and power, just me finding a fairly ordinary hidden level in a mid-rate Nintendo game about a surfing gorilla. I hope you enjoy.
Also, did anyone else play this game and did you love it?
estyc asked: Yeah... I totally understand where you're coming from when you mentioned games which lack a certain 'atmosphere' (if you will) in a given environment as well as the need to eat/sleep daily. Inputting that function is also a good way to give the gamer themselves a small break imo, since I find that in RPGs it's running at a constant pace even if you're not doing a quest or whatnot :L
I'm a FPS girl by heart as I've grown up playing the Delta Force series, Medal of Honour series, COD series etc
But along with that I've played other games including Command and Conquer; Red Alert, Monkey Island Series, Minecraft, Fable and... Dragon Age: Origins XD My favourite is hard to choose... Either Bioshock or
I only started playing that game last week and geez, I'm hooked O_O
I've heard very little about DA2 other than what you've told me, but it should be as good as Origins I hope =) What characters do you favour the most?
I wish DA: O had chickens to kick like in Fable XD
“Inputting that function is also a good way to give the gamer themselves a small break imo, since I find that in RPGs it’s running at a constant pace even if you’re not doing a quest or whatnot”
Wow. That’s a really excellent point. Sometimes action can be an overload and quiet times allow you to sort of absorb and reflect on your adventures in the game, which I think personally make them sweeter.I had never thought of the potential neurological need for some in game downtime. This is probably why I loved the Theme Park world area of Final Fantasy 13 so much. It was nice to just have a break and wander around for fun.
This happens to a degree I think in a lot of Bioware games. In Knights of The Old Republic for instance you had the ship to wander around and talk to people in and in Dragon Age you have your encampment. However, your characters never really sit down and take a load off. It would be nice if moments like these became more passive and you actually saw your character chilling out, resting, drinking, joking around. It would draw me into the story more.
About the kinds of characters I play:
Whether I play table top games like Dungeons and Dragons or video games, I love for my character to have some kind of badass melee weapon, preferably a cool sword. If possible I like to have two swords, one for each hand. I also want my character to have a bit of magical or psychic power to do cool stuff. I like my characters to be a bit dark or have a darker quality about them instead of a knight in shining armor.
Thanks for digging my bullshit!
The following people send me nice messages about my blog. As is tradition, they earned a cartoon!
Thanks…
garypaul asked: Thanks for the follow!
Random question time: What is your favorite video game?
This is a tough one and I will have to give you my reasons…
Pure initial dorky gut reaction: The Legend of Zelda.
I liked Zelda so much that I dressed as Link for Halloween 3 years in a row despite being constantly mistaken for “Fat Peter Pan”. My dad made me a wooden sword and shield that had the Triforce painted on it and I used to dress up as link and go play in the woods.
I have a significant soft spot for the Apple IIgs version of Bard’s Tale 2: Destiny Knight as it was one of the first computer games that we got for our shiny new Apple computer. It also plays Pachelbel’s Canon In D in the Monastery which is the entire reason that Canon was my favorite classical music song till I saw Clockwork Orange.
Baldur’s Gate and Baldur’s Gate 2 are both awesome as fuck and totally made me feel like I was playing Dungeons and Dragons.
More recently, Dragon Age kicked me in the dick with fucking awesome storytelling, growing feelings for the NPC’s and just a cool as fuck setting.
However, long story short: Zelda, bro. That game’s the fucking jam.
Question Of The Day (PS Move): Is it lame that I am sore from pretending to be a gladiator?
